i file my finger
nails
with the flowers
your mother gave me
i file them
vigorously
as if
i was washing
my hands of you
i smile
because smiling
is my reflex
it is my natural state
but (with you)
it became much more
it was
my knee-jerk reaction
to flee.
i should have
(you should have)
told me the truth.
it doesn't count now.
it's too late...
like my fingers.
i filed them like paper
long before i knew what really happened.
before i knew
about her.
before i knew
about you..
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